How are you taking care of yourself these days?
This year has brought so many unexpected experiences for most of us that sometimes it can be hard to know what to do. It feels as though our world has been turned upside down by the global pandemic and with so much social change taking place (this good and hard work that will continue for the rest of our lives). I don’t know about you but I find it easy to sink into a space of feeling so overwhelmed about what I can do, what I need to do, what should have been done already and what my limitations are. I often get frustrated that I am not ‘doing enough’ and before you know it I am in a head space of comparison. Which is rarely a good place to be in if you ask me. I’m not sure that I’ve ever gone down that comparison rabbit hole and have ended up anywhere productive or positive in the end. I’ve been thinking about this a lot these days too. It’s been oh so easy to compare myself to all of the ‘perfect’ people on social media during this pandemic and think that I am somehow lacking because I am not:
training for a marathon/triathlon
making sourdough everything (I have a recipe I’ve been meaning to try but….)
doing yoga/meditation/gratitude practices daily, or multiple times a day depending on how ‘perfect’ I feel
creating all things handmade and lovely, including masks for my family and me because I am a seamstress too……
Instead some of my days are filled with:
losing my shit and yelling at my toddler (not my finest hours, but I am practicing being real and present with them. And asking forgiveness. Starting this practice early)
not doing the exercises I know will help me as I continue to recover from my car accident earlier this year
rushing through meals when what I really want to practice is being present and take deep breaths. And CHEW my food
And all to easily I am reminded by that little voice that only knows how to be hard on me that I am not doing enough to bring about massive social change because I have the privilege to do so. All of these things are true. And yet what is also true is that I am a mom of a toddler, one tiny human being who thinks that it’s okay to lick me when they are angry (thank goodness they aren’t biting me daily). In these days of so much uncertainty I am grateful that I am here for G, that I can have this time with him as he grows and changes so rapidly. And that also means that I don’t have the same amount of time as someone who doesn’t have a kid. And that is OKAY. But I also want to make sure that I am not using this as an excuse to not do the important work of learning and unlearning. Of listening and not speaking. Of having challenging and awkward conversations. Of staying present to all of the feelings, especially the ones that are hard and uncomfortable. We make time for what is important to us. It is always a balance of taking care of ourselves and not getting complacent. Not pushing ourselves too hard or getting too comfortable. And for me this looks like checking in with my body, and also checking in with those who know me and love me the best, eating foods that nourish me and help me get through the day, drink enough water, get enough rest, move my body, and not try to control everything.
How are you doing these days and in this particular time? Here’s to politely ignoring that little voice that doesn’t usually have anything nice to say and taking a break from playing the comparison game.
